there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
