Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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