i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
