Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
