I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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