i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Randomize
