Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
