So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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