I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Dignity is for republicans.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
