At least make sure they are 18
Why
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
