I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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