nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
