Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
