It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
