I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
