So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
