I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
