in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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