She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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