matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
