Where did you get a picture of my penis
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
