i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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