Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
