i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
