i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
As shirtless as possible
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize