the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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