Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
