yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
