it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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