Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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