Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
