So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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