You made me cry and you don't even care
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
