How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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