3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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