well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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