Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
