Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
