i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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