yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
wrigley field is MILF paradise
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize