you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
