i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Randomize
