just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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