And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
