I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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