I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
We have started to decorate penises.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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