I can tuck mytits in my pants
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You've changed since you got that strap on
jump out the window naked night went bad
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
