so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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