I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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