For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
