No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
