Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
You pole danced in your parka.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
