You work out of a Hotel?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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