We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Sorry about my life...
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
