he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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