I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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