I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
