We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I think people are normalizing furries
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
