I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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