The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
