I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
