Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
